does absence make the heart grow fonder? i dont know. is it because when people are absent we start to forget the icky things they did to us?

i’m not being bitter. i just feel that absence dont really make my heart grow fonder, it makes my heart get used to the absence. i hate absence. people in love should be together. why chase money and fame when you can be with someone you love today? 

i miss people the most the moment i say goodbye. that’s when you replay everything in your head and its like it just happened. all those icky, wonderful, funny, embarrassing moments wrapped in a millisecond. and you hold on to that owh so fleeting moment and it floats away with all the other fleeting moments up into the sky until its another twinkling star.

and then time passes and all those moments start to gray away, you start to forget the punch line of a joke, or why you were upset, or what made you laugh so hard you swear your eyes are going to pop out. and life goes on, routine falls into place, reports to be drawn up, bosses to answer to, bed to be made and you start to forget - and get used to the fact that the absence is just a part of you. 

i hate absence. i hate being apart. absence doesnt make my heart grow fonder. absence just makes me be used to the fact you’re not around. and that’s something i never want to get used to.